It's Christmas 1989...

I remember being so excited for Christmas that year. My belly was growing, therefor my baby was growing. The morning sickness had finally subsided, and I was free to eat what I wanted without the ramifications of the morning sickness.

School was going well, my pregnancy was going well, even my relationship with the bio-dad was going well. I couldn't have been happier with life at that time. My mom had just remarried, it seemed like she was finally settling down. Life was good!!!

I can remember laying on the couch watching the Christmas tree lights and just rubbing my belly enjoying the little flutters that were inside. You still couldn't really feel them from the outside, but I could definitely feel them on the inside. The bio-dad would sit and try to feel them but at that stage he never really could.

It was probably one of the best times of my pregnancy. All the turmoil that the pregnancy had caused with my family had settled down, and the bio-dad and I were becoming excited about the upcoming arrival of the baby.

With that Christmas came an engagement ring and a promise to marry me and love our baby. This was real, I was finally going to have the family I was wanted. My baby was going to have a mommy and a daddy to love her. Oh I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I also knew that as a family (bio-dad, baby, and me) we could slay any dragon that came our way. I made a pact with myself to be the best mommy and wife that my husband and child could ever ask for. I knew since we had come this far we could go the distance.

I loved life, I loved my fiancee, and I loved my baby. Nothing was going to keep be from being someone that they would be proud to call wife and mommy. Again I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I knew we could do it. I just knew it.

For that Christmas the bio-dad gave me a baby book for the baby, 2 white photo albums, and the journal that all of this has been written down in. Oh I started the journal in a spiral notebook but when he gave me the beautiful bound journal I re-wrote everything in it. I still have the baby book (obviously it has never been filled out), one of the 2 white albums, and the journal. I have always kept them, but always wanted to trash them at the same time. The two white albums I will talk about the use I made of them in a later post, but they were put to use.

This was such a happy time for me. My mom was excited about the baby (so was I of course), my best friend had begun to accept my fiancee (even though she hated him), the bio-dad's parents even seem to have begun to accept the baby and me, and I was well on my way to accomplishing my first goal...high school graduation.

Love to all...